An Accident- happened or will happen?

I am a great believer of the Hindu mythology and the theory of karma, past lives and reincarnations. After reading a book by Brian Weiss and following what was mentioned in the book something very strange happened.

Now just to give a little background- I am dating a boy since quite some time now, and he loves me a lot there are no second thoughts about it. And to go a little more behind in time, I always had suicidal tendencies as a child; I never did anything concrete but I made plans innumerable times but here I am hale and hearty and writing. So I always had this fear of losing my loved ones or I used to feel I am going to leave them. I had imagined my parents not surviving a road accident and leaving me or anything at random happens to them and they leave me or in other cases I happen to die at a very early age.

I don’t know and I don’t remember that but as soon as my boyfriend came into my life my fears started to become from bad to worse. We met in school and I know since the day I was sure that I like him I was also sure about the fact that eventually we will not be together. He was very loving and initially I covered up by saying that we are too young to get into a commitment and blah. But with time I realized that I can’t hold back more I did like him a lot and I was insecure that he might end up with someone else so I gave it a try and we started dating. Just when everything was fine this fear encompassed my mind that - I will lose him. There was no base to prove it because everything was going very strong between us and we were going to be in the same school. I kept getting this intuition that he would not be alive very soon and will definitely leave me and of course that will happen in a road accident. One fine day he did have a very bad accident where he managed a narrow escape, I was so sure that it is going to happen that I started to behave weirdly with him not being able to explain what my problem was but he never gave up; he even yelled at me for thinking something so stupid but it was just not possible for me to get out of it. I still feel such things and as I am growing I started getting road accident phobic.

Now when I am reading books on past lives and reincarnations- I don’t know how but it has worked wonders in me. After getting to know the life experiences of so many people and these fears (which I can’t even call a fear because I never showed it in front of somebody) I am sure of what had happened and I feel very light, knowing that I have lost either my loved ones or myself in a road accident and it over. It won’t happen again.

But if you still ask me how would I want to die; I will always say – A Road Accident.

waqt

Ye waqt hi to hai jo na kisi ke liye rukta hai
Or na kisi ke liye jhukta hai
Hum bas khade reh jaate hain
Saal dar saal un taarikhon ko yaad karte hain, unka jashn manate hain
Ek waqt wo bhi tha jab waqt se tez daudte the hum
Ek waqt ye bhi hai jab usse kadam milate hain
Ek waqt wo bhi aayega jab waqt maano thahar saa jayega
Gujarta hua har pal kuch yaad dilaega

Valentines Day Ke Din

It was 14-2-2005 one year- four months after we had actually started dating. Half of the people we knew didn’t even know what was going between us. Since I am a girl I don’t want to be very vocal about my feelings in front of everyone and neither do I want to hide it from him. Owing to all this I decided to give him a surprise.
Before that just a little background about my life- I was 16 then and studying in 11th standard and we were in the same class.
Now back to my surprise, after a lot of brainstorming with myself I got an idea to buy him a feing- shui kind bracelet in steel (I am talking 2005, steel was very much in that time) got it gift wrapped nicely and slipped it in his bag.
After some time I kept waiting for him but no response… waited and waited and finally he did what I least expected him to. Went and gave to the teacher telling somebody must have left it with him by mistake and obviously he did not know who ‘the somebody’ was. The bracelet received all sorts of appreciation and criticism from my classmates no one having the slightest idea about the girl.
By this time there was enough trouble in my nervous system and I was sweating like a pig. Finally, the teacher after a lot of enquiry gave it to one of the students. While she was happily taking it home I went to her and told her that It was me after everyone else had left the class.
Till this day after 6 yrs we remember and cherish that Valentine’s Day when I tried to give him a real surprise but I am very happy that even when he did not know who the girl was he just did not keep the gift with himself. I did not like the whole incident but today when I look back I know I really have got a very loyal and a gem of a person boyfriend

IDIOTS ARE WE?

We are all in awe of ‘3 idiots’ since the day the promos have come out, even before the movie got released we were all singing “Aal is well”, this song brought a strange equality among all sects of the society whether it was the school going kid or the manager of a multinational or the very own house maid’s child; all of us sang aal is well ruining the pronunciation.

The audiences are totally mesmerized by the main protagonist Amir Khan’s performance in the film not to forget Sharman Joshi, R Madhavan, Boman Irani, Kareena Kapoor and last but not the least the Vacuum Cleaner – it has never performed this well before; not even in real life.

The movie no doubt had a social message attached to it when it spoke about student suicides which is indeed a very pressing issue in the current Indian scenario all thanks to Mr K Sibal who is striving from one end to the other to take care of this problem. It also spoke about how it is the pressure of studies and not parents that is forcing them to take such a drastic step.

The education system in India is the best but only on paper, till now the students did feel this but there were no changes seen the movie yet again talks about it in a very open and frank manner. How during every board exam we get to hear it is not only the study but the luck that matters or the basic method of assessing a student’s capability in 3 hours is non justifiable? We have all fallen prey to this monster.

Now we saw the good things about the movie which are numerous people have loved it to the core. Everyone who I met is still going gaga over it except for one my 6 year old cousin who claims there are not enough action scenes to please him and after meeting him I came to terms with the fact that however good a movie is, it is never perfect there is always room for more. The main concept of the film being Rancho’s intelligence and creativity, the fact that he preached that you should absorb from everywhere and do what your heart pleases is it actually true? Think for a minute can this happen in your or my life?

However smart a person may be can he study what he wants in a college; do we have those kinds of provisions? No. if a student regularly stays out of his classes he cannot get the highest marks in the university there will be innumerous attendance crisis with him and God forbid if he tops the blacklist of the principal then the marks will go down the drain. Are you convinced with somebody studying in somebody else’s name so cleanly – it can’t just be carried out this way?

The ragging bit of the movie made us all aware of the true situations in most engineering and medical college and laughed and clapped to see Rancho deal with it but yet again will the senior students not backfire and love him for what he did?

Most of us were aware of the book ‘five point someone’ by Chetan Bhagat which had the same topic as the film as the film makers said it was inspired by the book but there were many other things added to make it get a cinematographical appeal. There were many instances when the scenes of the movie were clearly ripped off the book those who have read the book and liked it will surely agree. It was Chetan Bhagat and not Raju Hirani who deserve the credit and yet we know that audio-visual medium succeeds over any other medium. In a country like ours where reading is confined to a very small part of the society the book did not reach out that much but then it was a social favor that they did to make such a film.

Think about it, however we would have liked the movie or how much ever we love Amir Khan for his acting and brilliance in the film how much of it is actually possible? How many of us have the liberty of choosing what we like over the regular not so cool options which offer sure shot money or how many of us do actually have an option to risk a few years of our life financially and get back to something more lucrative if need be? Or on a lighter note how many gynecologists in this world will be able to deliver a child with a vacuum cleaner? I doubt any, even if she is the better half of an engineer or vice- versa.

happiness- dil se

I kept asking myself
After not getting something I wished for,
Facing many problems,
Struggling hard for everything in life
According to me I got nothing
When I tried,
I used to cry
I saw a dream that night went upset and worried
I had a conversation with God
God: why are you upset?
I : I am cribbing for something I yearned for!
God: what will you do after getting something you yearned for/?
I; will be happy
God: why?
I: I will get what I desired
God : why do you need it
I: I want to be on the top of this world I would be more powerful, if every body would
Look up to me
God: what is it?
I: my greed
God: can I fulfill everyone’s need
I: after a silence, NO!
God: I have enough to fulfill everyone’s need
But not for everyone’s greed
I: but everyone else gets a result why cant I?
God: I want you to be independent, I am proud of what you did
But I want more hardwork!
I: why are you being greedy now?
God: ha ha with a smile you will come to know
I: I thought a miracle will happen this time
How do miracles happen?
God: miracles are the miscalculations
The things which happened but should not have happened
Like people died in a train accident but some were lucky because they could not board in
I: silent
God : I am just a belief ,the supreme power lies in human beings
I: what?
God: HAPPINESS
NATURE has not given everything to anyone but has given one special thing to
Everyone use it to the fullest and make the nature proud of you
I: how to be happy
Never think of people who are above you or below you
Look at yourself and you will always be happy
WAS THE MESSAGE OF GOD

To the city that has given me the best smiles and the worst tears

Even after six months of leaving college I am still a part of national’s bmm in my own mind. Thanks to the never ending support of my friends who have made this tough journey worthwhile for me.

Being born and bred in a city in UP the thought of coming to Mumbai thrilled me completely. It is very true when people call it the city of dreams, I belonged to the same lot of people who dream and I wanted to go out in the world and do my own thing which eventually did happen but I paid a heavy price in terms of my physical and mental health.

I don’t know why somethings happened to me either I was not ready to face them or what it was I was left at the mercy of people whom I didn’t know yet I knew them and those whom I didn’t know but I knew them well.

After all this I don’t have many words to thank each one of you who has helped me in any which way, given me the strength to fight and live through the three odd years of my life you people have made a dream come true.

The honors go to
Abhinav tandon
Nishtha kanal and the kanal family
Ankit mhatre
Yash ratanpal
Neha borekar
Devesh sharma

Lastly but not the least
Bulbul maam
Neha maam

And the healer
Srishti didi

safety!!??

Everyone is busy with the commonwealth games and how the country is getting series of medals. It feels great to see our fellow countrymen make the country proud moreover with the Unique Identification Number the country really seems to be progressing in my eyes however impractical these ideas may be but then we are heading towards a technological super power!

But then is this enough to make a country go forward?
We really need to ask this question to ourselves

I will not force you to think that we are in a mess but we truly are in a mess

Look at the crime rates going sky high in the country and the criminals have no fear
Every morning what you get to see in the newspapers is kidnapping, theft and rape; it has become the most rampant problem in most parts of the country. This Divya rape case is over a week old and the police has not been able to find the criminals who sodomised and molested the little girl and I am sure looking at the current scenario that the criminals will go free.

Is it the first case that has come in front of the media?
No, there have been many but how many victims have really got justice?
This is what we need to ask ourselves

Are we heading towards technologically sufficient country that provides no safety??
Is this the world we want to live in?
Is this the world where our next generations should be born and brought up?