untitled

i don't know what is wrong because there is no problem with me right now but i am feeling sad not only sad but awful i want to cry enough so that it comes out. may be it is that i have been forcefully made to sit at home (but that happens otherwise too)
may be it is that i am not sporting enough to wait for a surprise till another year, may be because i have to kill all my excitement for my 21st. may be because i have kept patience with God for something i can see no results my deadline is close or it is just the pain of leaving college and going back to nothingness or something bad is coming close to me. i cant figure out. today was the worst valentines day of my life and sometimes when bad things happen i just remember what my dad says " after this you know nothing can be worse than this so if you have managed to live up to this you will never feel bad again" thanks dad but that never helps.

Mental Age

There is one time in everybody’s life when they feel they feel they are either out of the crowd or there are very few people who understand what they say mostly because of age or generation gap or whatever you call it as. I am not writing this because of on the occasion of my birthday but of late I have felt while talking to a lot of people that I share something in common with everybody whether it is my 5 yr old neighbor who doesn’t like to get up early for school, my 8 yr old cousin aaah homework!, my 16 yr old sister the fetish for new clothes and the taste for music, my 24 yr old cousin when he talks about making a career of his own and he loves to write like me, my 30 yr old aunt- shopping, my 42 yr old mother that we get tired after a long day, my 48 yr old father with having n number of behavioral similarities with him, my 60 yr old grandmother when she says her jaws and teeth hurt while eating so do mine because of growing molars , my 64 yr old grandfather mmmm I think his full white hair with one strand on my head (hope its not increasing soon), a 25 yr old woman who says to have gone through similar tough times in life, a 48 yr old woman where I feel totally energetic like she does last but not the least my 20 yr old friends where I have a lot of things common to us.

I feel it is no longer the physical age but the mental age that matters now I could have never thought about it but there is no difference now everybody is on the same plane. I can share my deepest secrets to any body who just matches my wavelength (okay no more physics).

Either my teenage has left me or it is just quarter life crisis (aisa kuch job hi hota hai humari age mein)

Rising Up

All through these years Mumbai has been the centre for everything happening on tv somewhere down directly responsible for the new trends and stuff; but now probably because of the cultural differences and the fact that Indians are recognizing their culture again we have started thinking differently about it and the reflection can be clearly seen. There was a time when Miss Ekta Kapoor was the maharani of the Indian television with most of the gujrati serials but not any more, which in my opinion is a sign of growth. Today there are movies and shows which are more Delhi centric or if not they are taking into consideration the other parts of the country where most of the population lives.

But then again there is lots and lots of UP and Bihar cluttering the television screens, no doubt Rajasthan is not less and so the other states of the country. The places not remotely touched upon are the northern Himalayan regions may be it is difficult to shoot but then they can always do that with sets. We are a big country and every little state has something to contribute to the Indian culture but then again what we get to see is the stereotypical families nevertheless the effort is good as long as it entertains and brings the Hindi speaking population of the country together.

Last but not the least with advent of films like Dev D, Oye Lucky, delhi 6 and Love Aaj Kal talks about delhi much more than Mumbai and there fore the film industry is geographically rising up!